my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
