we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Randomize
