Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
