I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Randomize
