so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
