Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
