I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
