I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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