At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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