if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
