Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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