i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
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