didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Randomize