carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
