Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
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