your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Randomize
