im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
