I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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