whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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