Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Someone shit on the floor
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
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