We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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