how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
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