thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
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