I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
