Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
