Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize