sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
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