Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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