From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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