I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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