So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
