Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
