we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
