Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
