Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
