Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
