so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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