Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Randomize