He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
