shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
