"it" just moved
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
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