He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Randomize
