You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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