I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
