Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize