I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
