Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
