They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
