very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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