I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Randomize