what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
