Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
