i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Randomize
