just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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