Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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