Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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