addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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