I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
