I wish I could punch you in the face.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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