sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
