I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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